I know it wasn’t really who he was. It was just my own memory and interpretation from a time in which I thought I knew something about him. I know I wasn’t in love with him. I was agonisingly, hopelessly and clumsily in love with the idea of him. And I clung to that idea – so much that another human seemed something more than a person. I know it was just an idea. But it was one hell of an idea.
I don’t know if I’ll be able to get to a point where I’ll no longer miss you because even your around, it feels like there is that strange longing, that craving to get close to you, to feel you, to see you even if you feel distant - like a total stranger, like I’ve never known you before.
Most of the time, I really don’t know what I want to do with you. You give me this kind of rush that’s too addicting but then you make me feel alone, sad. You make me feel I will never be happy again because I’ve never realized how was it to live, to be truly happy, to love. You make me forget why I have built these walls, my own solitary confinement.
They say that the person you think of last before you go to sleep at night and the first, when you wake up in the morning wither brings you the most pain or the most happiness; he was both.
That’s the thing about love. If it’s not meant to be, there’s nothing in the world that can make it so. But if it is, there’s nothing in the world that can stop it.
just because you love someone does not mean you should be with them. i felt a love from a very young age and for a while, it was the best part of me. but as time went on and the love grew, i lost myself. i felt as if i didn’t know who i was anymore and there weren’t simple moments between us anymore. we weren’t worried about the things that brought us together, we only focused on the things that pushed us apart. it felt like we wanted to fight more than just to love one another. i so desperately wanted that person with me forever. he was my bestfriend. i could talk to him about anything and everything, and there wasn’t a single person on this planet that knew me better than he did. but things don’t work out sometimes, and you have to accept and move on. although he is not in my life anymore and i have found someone knew, he exists deeply in my memory. we shouldn’t view ex companions as bad people, we should speak kindly of them and let people know the impact they once had on us, because they most likely helped shape the person you are today. i am thankful for my past, and hopeful about my future.
Sometimes it is hard to remember that owls are incredibly dangerous predators seen by cultures throughout the world as ill omens. Especially when they look like toasted marshmallows.
My boss once described them as flying pillows filled with seething hatred.
